Deer Pheebs

Dear Pheebs (the cat),

Please accept my sincerest apologies for this morning’s rude awakening.

I realise I encouraged you to hop up on the bed yesterday evening, but I truly did not expect you to stay there all night. (I guess you were trapped by the same Furry Lump that stopped me from rolling over also. Did you find yourself on the very edge of the bed this morning too? And is your back sore like mine? Do you feel like your entire body has been in traction all night? No? Maybe it’s just me.)

Ring, ring!

The sound of the phone ringing could always spark so many emotions.

Annoyance, if I’d just sat down to dinner and it was likely to be a telemarketer.

Hopefulness, when I was waiting on news of a job offer.

Anxiety.

Curiosity.

Happiness.

Excitement.

Fun, fun, fun … Chuck Berry style

OK. I’ll admit it. It’s true.

I have become Quite The Little Show-off lately. It seems I sometimes take that need to announce my presence just one step too far in a move that has me rapidly progressing from Cute … to Obnoxious.

Take this for example.

Tigers lost … but the sound wasn’t

So the Tigers lost again. Thought I called in a favour with those guys, but I guess it fell on deaf ears. (Groan!)

But even though I didn’t get to hear 40 odd thousand voices singing ‘Tigerland’ in victory, on Sunday, I did get a better auditory experience than I could have hoped for.

When hated sounds become loved ones (well, 'liked' ones)

On Sunday morning, when our car pulled out onto High Street, we noticed some police lights flashing up ahead. Hmm. I couldn’t hear the siren, despite the fact that it looked like the car was moving – that was strange, and a bit disconcerting. But as we got closer, we realised there was no siren, only flashing lights. Phew! There were several police cars escorting a marching band of soldiers, coming up on the other side of the street with various instruments in tow. Jase wound down the car window so I could hear the music better. It was the local RSL club, playing the most beautiful music. I smiled in delight at the bugles I thought I was hearing.

‘Ohhhh,’ I said, in awe. It sounded so nice!

Then we got close enough for me to realise that they weren’t playing bugles at all. They were bagpipes. Uh oh. But I hate bagpipes!

A drive to the library … and a rundown on MAP # 2

Yesterday, with car battery nicely charged again, I decided to drive to my local library and pick up some new audio books to listen to.

The first thing I heard, when I turned the key in the ignition, was the familiar hum of the engine running (only it was more of a bellowing hum than a quiet hum).

The second thing I heard?

Squeeeeeak.

Oh the brakes! Not good! I bet that’s the first time I’ve ever smiled at that noise though!

Don't care for Cher

Cher. In high definition. Prancing about in fishnet stockings on a 3 x 2 metre television screen. Stereo sound.

            Babies crying. Kids shrieking. (Did that have anything to do with Cher? Quite possibly.)

            Phones ringing. Names being called out.

            This is the scene I was met with at the doctor’s waiting room on Monday.

There's no place like home

Well, after three years of adjustments in our house (mainly on Jason’s part, I’ll admit), we are now entering a new phase where some of our previous household rules no longer apply.

So, here’s a new set of eight rules to help us all along.*

Day 6 post-activation

It was a hallucination that I knew would come to an end.

For the last year, in particular, I’ve been fortunate enough to drive a luxury car. You know the ones. Where you feel the engine instead of hear it because it purrs so quietly. Where you don’t notice the roar of the other traffic because the door seals are just That Good.

Today, with sound processors on, I prepared myself for reality: it’s a 10-year-old Mitsubishi, not a brand new Mercedes, and it’s going to be LOUD.

Day 3 post-activation

Some random audio observations and milestones from me, at the three-day mark.

The cuckoo clock

I can now decipher the two melodies well enough to recognise which one is playing! I can hear the cuckoo clock from any room in the house, even when there is background noise (eg a television) turned on!

A long time ago in a galaxy (not so) far away ...

A new planet is born. It’s a cosmic sort of place. One where R2-D2 commands authority over all sounds. Where chipmunk voices are often heard. Where males sound like females, and females sound like children. 

It’s a place where coffee grinders sound like helicopters landing overhead. Where a human blowing their nose sounds like several pigs in a pen. Where the shake of a water bottle produces tinkling sleigh balls! (Note to self: yes, it’s a rather lovely sound, but do not repeat that with the soft drinks. People still haven’t let you live down the ceiling mishap with the Coke last year.)

It’s a place where plastic bags sound like hailstones on a window. Acoustic pianos sound like xylophones.

Where pendulums tick. Even at night. When there’s supposed to be silence.

Switch-on!

Well it was ‘Activation Day’ today and I’m grinning from CI to CI, but before I tell you about it, please welcome a little friend of mine who is staying with me at the moment. The friend’s name is R2-D2 and you might know him (it?) from those Star Wars movies way back when. Yeah. Not sure how long he’ll be staying with me, but he’s punctuating every word, every sound, with those cute little characteristic beeps of his. My new shadow. Or is that echo? ;-)

Grand slam success results in Easter abuse

Visitors arrived to a devastating scene at Jason and Daniela’s house on Saturday 3rd April, where it was discovered a beloved Easter egg had tragically been destroyed before its time.

          ‘It’s my fault,’ said Daniela, sniffling. ‘I’ve developed this habit of slamming things over the last few weeks and, well … look.’

A tribute to Dr Seuss ... Live from the Waiting Place

Five sleeps to go!

(I've behaved, from here in 

but it turns out my patience

is starting to thin.)