There's no place like home

Well, after three years of adjustments in our house (mainly on Jason’s part, I’ll admit), we are now entering a new phase where some of our previous household rules no longer apply.

So, here’s a new set of eight rules to help us all along.*

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1. I owe Jase about three trillion phone calls and promise that, in future, I will be the one who hangs up on foreign telemarketers, calls customer service departments about missing pieces from the coffee machine, calls friends and family to RSVP to events, and even calls out for pizza.

2. But if we do have pizza (or regardless, really) Jase must promise to excuse himself if he burps, even if we are three rooms away from each other, because yes … I’ll know. 

3. If I think Jase is not sure whether I’ve heard him say something or not, I will repeat what he’s said, word-for-word, so he doesn’t feel he has to do it himself (and I can get a glimpse of the poor guy’s world for the last three years).

4. But Jase should now safely assume that if I haven’t laughed at one of his jokes, it’s not because I didn’t hear it. It’s because I didn’t find it funny.

5. I agree to turn the captions off the television whenever I can, in the hope that I might some day not need to rely on them at all.

6. Jase will understand that this action might result in less humour to the evening news (now that ‘Jennifer Hawkins’ will no longer be labelled ‘genital organs’).

7. It is entirely appropriate for Christmas music to be played in the house at any time of the year, as part of my ‘music rehabilitation’.

8. Jase will … Jase will … just have to deal with it invest in some headphones.

* These household rules do not apply to our cat, Pheebs, who makes up her own rules as she pleases.