Me? Deaf? Oh yeah, that's right.

Was it only last year that I used to deliberately seek out strangers so I could practise my listening skills? Wow. All I need to do now is head out of the house with my son and wait for people to approach me instead. Seriously. If you have access to a baby, you should try it some time. I can often pre-empt their comments, and that’s no challenge. ‘How old is he?’ ‘What’s his name?’  ‘Oh, he’s a happy baby, isn’t he?’ ‘Oh, he’s a grumpy baby, isn’t he?’ Sometimes they say weird stuff that throws me off guard. ‘So you’re not working at the moment then?’ Erm … no. (But would you care to explain my burning eyes, aching shoulders and feet and vomit-ridden piles of laundry?)

Just how loud can our little boy cry?

* Loud enough for two different nurses in neighbouring ICU units to come rushing in to his room at the Children’s Hospital one night to see what was going on. (His nappy was being changed.)

* Loud enough for Jase to hear him from outside when he pulls up in the driveway each night. (Arsenic hour.)

* And yes … (sometimes) loud enough for me to hear him crying without my processors on. Oh boy was I surprised to hear him hark up in the 20 seconds it took me to brush my hair this morning. I confess I stared at him in surprise for a few seconds while I matched the faint, cute little cry in my head with the bright red, wide-mouthed, writhing little baby in his cot before I hurriedly put my processors back on and picked him up to soothe him. (He was hungry.)

NICU babies and hearing

A visit to a different audiology clinic this week – the one at the Royal Children’s Hospital.

Our son passed his newborn hearing screening test with flying colours, but he is still going to need his hearing monitored pretty closely over the next few years. Makes sense, you’re probably thinking, given his mother is deaf and wears two cochlear implants. But, oddly enough, my hearing loss has nothing to do with his situation. Rather, it’s his stay in the NICU that doubles his chances for hearing problems – not the noise exposure, like I initially thought, but his dependence on antibiotics and on oxygen for a prolonged period of time.

Out of (brain) practice

So … it’s wonderful to be able to play the piano again but I have to confess something. I did not have a grand “oh-wow-this-sounds-amazing-again” moment the first time I played it, after my piano tuner left. Rather, I had a “woah-has-this-piano-been-tuned-at-all” moment. Before I could question the work of my very talented tuner much further though, I remembered that my brain is out of practice.

Clearly it’s what happens after a five-month break from playing. The piano sounded somewhat … er … terrible. Not as bad as after my CIs were switched on, thank goodness, but definitely muddled. Pachelbel’s Canon made me shudder, as did Mozart’s Turkish March. Debussy’s Clair de Lune, my favourite, sounded a little sweeter to the ears. Perhaps more familiar to the brain.

After 30 minutes or so, the piano sounded much better. But I am going to have to find the time to sit at it regularly to stop that from happening again!

Hypnosis with cochlear implants?

I was watching a documentary on SBS the other night about the way brain research has evolved over time. There was a segment on hypnosis and it got me wondering …

Does hypnosis actually work on somebody with cochlear implants?

Now … I’m in no way volunteering myself! I was just curious! If hypnosis works by shutting down various parts of the brain, would somebody with cochlear implants, who receives sound directly to the brain and not the ear, even be able to “hear” the hypnotiser’s words?

Just one of those little things that I wonder about sometimes!

Do your dreams have sounds?

It's a question that is often asked to deaf people. For late-deafened people like me, people often ask if our dreams stopped featuring sound after we lost our hearing. And, if so, did the sound return to our dreams after we got cochlear implants.

When I became totally deaf, my own dreams stopped featuring sound. Did sound return to my dreams after I got cochlear implants? No. At least I don’t think so. Thing is, with 100% silence at night, you do tend to sleep pretty deeply. I only occasionally remember my dreams, and sure enough, they are all silent.

Except for the last nine weeks …

The difference? I’ve been wearing an alternating processor each night, thus giving my brain access to sound.

My dreams feature sound once more. I seem to constantly be having conversations with people in my dreams, or listening to environmental sounds. It could just be the broken sleep at the moment that’s making them more vivid, but I believe the presence of sound makes my dreams easier to recall at the moment also. 

Something for the neuroscientists amongst us to ponder perhaps ...

The sounds of our baby boy

I always knew that getting cochlear implants would help me hear, and therefore respond faster, to my baby crying. Little did I know they would also help me monitor his well-being in other ways. While I was pregnant, and getting regular foetal monitoring, there were often times when I was chasing him around my stomach with the receiver, using only the faint sound of his heartbeat alone to ‘find’ him again.

During the birth and in the weeks thereafter, my cochlear implants were crucial for communicating with our son's doctors and nurses in noisy environments.

And now, at home, yes – I can respond to his crying. I’m learning to recognise the different types of crying. But I can also use sound to gauge when he’s had enough to eat. When he needs to be burped. By wearing a processor at night, I can tell when he’s vomited and needs quick attention. I can tell by his breathing whether his head needs to be repositioned in the bed. Best of all, I can tell that he’s breathing.

And in amidst the sounds that help me care for him, there are a bunch of others that always bring a smile to my face.

Impending labour symptom # 2

Second note to self: if, in a future pregnancy, your hearing suddenly starts to return for no reason at all, be very wary.

Again, about two weeks before I gave birth to our son, I noticed the residual hearing in my right ear start to improve slightly. The first sign of this was in the shower – I could hear the water running over my hair. (Very faint and crackly, mind you, but the sound was there nonetheless.) Then I noticed I could hear cupboards closing, without having to slam them. I could hear Jase talking in my ear, though I couldn’t understand his words. And, finally, I could hear the dial tone of the telephone (with volume full blast, and the receiver held in a very precise location over my ear).

I pointed out this weirdness to my audiologist, who, at my 12-month CI review, actually conducted a proper hearing test to assess what was happening. Sure enough, the slight residual hearing that I have in my right ear had improved a little in certain frequencies. In one of the lower frequencies, for example, I was now registering tones at 65 decibels – before the surgery, they needed to be 90-100 for me to hear them. How very bizarre.

This jump in hearing disappeared immediately after the birth. Now I doubt there’s any medical reason to support that, and I can’t say it would happen to anybody else who wears CIs, but I’m firmly connecting it to the approach of labour in my particular case. Something else I’ll keep in mind for next time!

Impending labour symptom # 1

Our son was born one month premature, as I think I might have mentioned on here. It is tricky, in a first pregnancy, to recognise genuine labour symptoms. For me, there were a couple of major hearing-related ones that I’ll be sure not to ignore the next time around.

The first one?

When tinnitus starts roaring for seemingly no reason at all, recognise that there are serious hormonal issues at play and be prepared!

My tinnitus is always present but it is reasonably quiet when both processors are on. However, about two weeks before I gave birth to our son, those ringing and roaring sounds became so loud and distracting that I barely had the energy to try and listen over them.

I’ll never forget the silence that greeted me the morning after my c-section. At first I thought I wasn’t wearing my processors … but I was. Then I realised what was so different – the tinnitus had quietened down again. Thank goodness!

Tuning time

I’m very excited about my piano being tuned next week. It started going out of tune last December and got progressively worse with all the humidity over summer. Having finished my concert and lessons in time, I never bothered getting it tuned. Figured it could wait until its regular annual tune in May.

I’ve been deliberately avoiding it while it sounds so bad, for fear I will accidentally retrain my brain the incorrect tones and pitches for everything. Is that even possible? Not sure. But I dare not risk it after all my hard work.

People ask me if I can perceive that it’s out of tune. Yes! Notes that don’t belong in certain scales. An annoying twang that not only resonates after pressing a key, but changes the tone. Bars of music that sound like they’re being played in entirely different keys. Reminds me what it was like playing the piano with my distorted natural hearing in the months leading toward total deafness.

Can’t wait to get back into playing – I really miss it!

Spicks and Specks ... with CIs

It’s Wednesday! Spicks and Specks night! I still love this musical quiz show, even though playing along is so much harder than when I had natural hearing. But rather than feel frustrated about that, I try to make this show my ‘musical training’ instead. This is especially useful because the piano has been out of tune for months, and I barely have time to get on Sound and Way Beyond these days. So this show is about all I can muster in terms of training at the moment.

Why do I consider it training? Because parts of this show involve manipulating well-known music in order to make it recognisable.

Introducing ... our son

Can you hear that? It's the alarm bells ringing. That's what you hear when an almost full-term pregnant woman stops replying to emails, phone messages and, er, stops blogging!

Well you'd be correct in assuming. Our little boy was born four weeks early by emergency c-section. He has had some complications but is out of the NICU and in Special Care. We are completely in love with him and can't wait until he's well enough to come home with us!

Thank you to all my readers who have left comments - I will try and approve / respond to them soon! 

Toys!

I can be really bad when I’m let loose in a toy store. You know how you walk past those plush toys with little tiny stickers on them that say ‘push here’? Yep. I’m one of those people. The ones who feel compelled to push. Pretty sure I’ve always been annoying like that, but I used to just ‘push’ and keep walking. Since losing my hearing and ‘regaining’ it, I tend to hang around to hear the sound. With a stupid grin on my face.

It hasn’t been too bad up until now. I mean, I haven’t had reason to visit a toy store all that often. Thing is, our house is now starting to fill up with toys … noisy ones … and the temptation is just too strong. They are all Right Here. And I can’t stop pushing those little buttons. 

Michael Buble’: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne 2011

The first time I heard this man live in concert was back in September 2005. Hamer Hall, my favourite Melbourne venue for music. The acoustics were incredible. Of course, I had full hearing back then too. But the warmth of the jazz band filled not only every niche in the room but crawled its way inside my body too. The sounds bounced off the walls with nowhere else to go but within. I felt the music from head to toes and had to shed several silent tears for the sheer power of the sounds being expelled from the room. Michael Buble' won me over that night – not just for his charm and his humour, but for the respect he showed for his band … and the respect he showed for the original singers of his cover tracks. I confess my Frank Sinatra CDs became a little dusty after that night.

BEI concert review (coming soon!)

Of course I’ve got lots to report on the BEI concert! Has been a crazy couple of weeks juggling CICADA deadlines with medical appointments, but don’t think I’ve forgotten! 

Media publicity: Bionic Ear Institute's Interior Design Concert (UPDATED)

Some amazing sounds coming from the Fairfax Theatre at the moment - just listening to the performers getting ready for the show!

We just wrapped up our interview with ABC TV. Be sure to tune in to the 7pm national news on ABC 1 tonight, if you're interested!

UPDATED ON 14/02/2011:
Here's the link to the online news story!
http://www.abc.net.au/news/video/2011/02/14/3137688.htm

Music for bionic listeners - concert day!

It’s ‘Concert Day’ – sort of! It’s after midnight anyway. And I should be in bed resting up, but am feeling a little flat after watching my football team lose twice in the one night. Should be used to it, I suppose, but with football only just starting up again for the year, I need to slowly wean myself into the disappointing losses once more. For my Aussie readers: I’m a mad (in all senses of the word) Tigers supporter, if you didn’t realise already.


But, tonight’s game is in the past now – I’m done with devoting my Saturday to sports, and ready to devote my Sunday to the arts. (Do I epitomise the typical Melburnian, or what??!)

Interior design: music for the bionic ear!

Very exciting weekend ahead with the Bionic Ear Institute’s concert taking place in Melbourne on Sunday!

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Sunday 13^th February, 2011

Where: Fairfax Studio @ the Arts Centre, Melbourne

Times: Choose from: 5:30 pm or 8:00 pm

Prices: $25 adults / $15 concession

Also an optional 7 pm lecture for all ticketholders, limited space available (first come, first served). Lecture will cover how the music was made along with some of the issues encountered.

Buy tickets here: http://www.theartscentre.com.au/whats-on/event.aspx?id=2403

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Musings of a bionic mum-to-be

Recently my mother-in-law gave me an interesting newspaper clipping about the sorts of things new mums stress about when it comes to their babies. The top 10 list of worries included things like how to set up a routine for the baby, how to recognise the different types of crying, how to balance the time spent with grandparents, manage sickness, etc.

Being bionic, my personal worries are a little different to these, so I thought I’d share with you my own little list. ;-)

Welcome waves

Not long after my processors were switched on, I held up a conch shell to one of the coils to see if I could hear the sound of the waves. Nope. I hadn’t really expected it to work, anyway. I think that captured sound has more to do with the vacuum that’s created when you hold the shell to your outer ear and block the ear canal. I’ve always loved the sound of the waves and would forever listen to the sound through conch shells during winter, waiting impatiently for summer to begin when I could hear them for real.

CI moment # 114257

I vacuum the entrance hallway while Jase stands in the adjoining dining room.

Me (turning off the vacuum cleaner and facing Jase): could you please do me a favour?

Jase (cheeky grin): maybe

The end of an era

Today I say good bye to my sporty little two-door coupe; the Mitsubishi Lancer I’ve been driving since the age of 20.

It was a wonderful car, never left me stranded, never had any mechanical issues. But alas, a two-door car is not very baby-friendly so it’s time to say farewell.

One comforting thing about the Lancer though – I knew all of its ‘sounds’. I drove this car when I had normal hearing. I drove it when I wore a hearing aid. Drove it deaf, without an aid. And I drove it with bionic ears.

Happy New Year!

Yes, I’ve emerged from a happy, dreamlike state of Christmas splendour, New Year’s festivities and family birthday parties!

So many happy moments to lose myself in, but I confess there were moments when I stepped back from it all and quietly marvelled at how far I’d come.