(Temporary) silence is thy friend

Yesterday I discovered that if I slammed one particular cupboard door, I could hear it! I then felt compelled to slam it again. So, armed with a stupid grin on my face, I did just that. Several times in a row. Then I tried some other cupboards. Nope. Nothing. So why that one? Turns out I’m hearing it slam against some misaligned coffee mugs, so the sound is higher pitched. I probably have no coffee cup handles left. But it‘s been fun. :-)

Every one of my visitors has asked me how I’m coping with the silence and it is, after all, a potential deal-breaker for people thinking of getting two ears implanted in the same operation, so I’ve decided to report on how it’s going.

The internal sounds I previously mentioned I could hear (munching sounds, my voice cutting in and out and my laughter) have all disappeared. They lasted about a day or two, after the surgery. I can’t confirm the reason for it but I’m guessing, because they were ‘internal’ sounds, that the cochlea has since healed itself on both sides.

What do I hear now? Just that cupboard. :-)

But it’s going OK!

This is what I heard before the surgery, without my hearing aid in:

-  any cupboard / door being slammed

-  water hitting the floor of the shower if I disrupted its flow

-  the hair dryer, faintly, when held close to my right ear

-  Jase’s loud sneezes.

So, it is really not all that different. It’s as if I’ve chosen to not wear my hearing aid, that’s all. (And as if my husband has suddenly overcome all his allergies – how nice!)

Receiving visitors does not stress me at all because everyone is being really great about writing things down for me. (Thank you!) I’ve also discovered that the two magna doodles (each with pride of presence in both living areas of the house!) don’t need to be as heavily relied upon when I’m chatting to the people I see more often in life. I didn’t think I’d be able to use my lipreading skills without the use of sound to guide me with the syllables/intonation, so this has been a pleasant surprise!

Are my other senses making up for the loss in sound? Yes.  

I’d always wanted my vision to be the heightened sense for me. It was somewhat disappointing when I discovered that, for me, the sense of smell stepped up first. It’s not nearly as glamorous and I'd much prefer it guide me to smelling something useful. Like chocolate. But I’ll take it.

The sense of smell kicks in most at night, which is rather helpful I’ll admit. Night-time quickly became the scariest time for me when I lost my hearing because it stole my vision (and thus any useful, remaining balance). One night, last winter, I woke up to the smell of something burning. I walked around the whole house trying to figure out what it was. It was so strong, especially to have woken me up as a result, so I was convinced it was something inside the house. Nope. Turns out it was the smell of wood burning from our next-door-neighbour’s fireplace. And it woke me up?? That was when I admitted that my sense of smell was uncharacteristically heightened.

Well, as nice as it is to know I can sense when my neighbours feel cold (!), I’m hoping that our recent installation of a vibrating, light-flashing smoke detector comforts my brain to the point where not all smoke smells wake me up. Or it’s going to be a very long winter. ;-)

For the benefit of my “hearing” family and friends, I should point out that the CI external sound components are not worn at night. It’s the ideal time for batteries to be recharged; for the removal of moisture/humidity from the sound processor; for the skin to be given a chance to breathe from the magnet connection; and for relief from a snoring partner (for those affected!).

My sense of smell also alerts me to other things my neighbours are doing. For example, if they’re mowing the lawn. ‘Oh! The smell of fresh grass!’ I hear you say. Um … no. That would be pleasant. What I tend to smell first is the petrol from the lawnmower.

What’s the conclusion I draw from all this? I think … quite possibly … I just have smelly neighbours. ;-)

So now that I’m no longer receiving environmental sounds from a hearing aid? Yes! Vision has stepped up!

I’m more sensitive to changes in light than I used to be. If someone’s car pulls into the driveway, and it’s a sunny day, their mirrors cause the sunlight to reflect off my kitchen cupboards. Nothing new, but I doubt I’d have paid much attention when I could hear the car door/s close instead.

I’m sensitive to sudden changes in light intensity: when my alarm clock goes off in the mornings, it’s the flashing light (not the vibrating pillow) that wakes me first.

There are also other things I’m doing to take advantage of my vision. For example, if I’m working at my laptop, I sit with my back to the front window of the house. Then, if someone turns up, I’m likely to see their reflection through my laptop screen. (Unfortunately, I also see the reflection of every bird and butterfly and it can freak me out after a while!)

So the silence is completely manageable – but not only because of my heightened smell, vision … and literate visitors. ;-)

It’s also because of my faith in the outcome that lies beyond this temporary situation. Sure, my metaphorical tunnel just became slightly darker. But I’m sensing there are better things to come. I believe that, when I turn this last corner, there’ll be light. Yes, after being in the dark for so long, I'm likely to be squinting for a while out there. But I’ll take the squinting over feeling my way around in total darkness. Any day. :-)